Monday, March 8, 2010

I went by a church (cue the Mama's and the Papa's-anybody get that), you know one of those churches with the big sign out side. Apparently those churches have Pastor of Stupid Stuff to Put on the Sign. Maybe it is a committee, who knows. In any case this week the sign is very short and concise it says:

WANTED-SINNERS

I almost wrecked my car. I actually put my blinker on and started to turn around and take a picture. Then I thought, "They will think I am applying for the job" so I kept driving. I did note that there was no one in the parking lot. Of course it was a weekday so maybe the sinners knew to show up on Sunday at 11am, that is probably when they do the interview for sinners. They should have put more info on the sign. What if I felt really qualified and wanted to apply right away who do I contact? Is this an entry level position with any chance of advancement, what kind of hours would I be working, and what is the pay structure. Yeah yeah yeah, I know what some of you are thinking. Wages of sin are death. I'll keep my current position.

I thought some more. There is a sign on I95 that says Avoid Hell call 1 800 blah blah. This sign is facing the north bound lane so perhaps they just meant New Jersey. How did one avoid Hell before toll free numbers? Aren't toll free numbers so 1980's anyway, can't I avoid Hell via a website? Why not by text?

I was listening to my good friend John ( hey, isn't that Mama's and Papa's song too? What the heck am I channeling hippie music from the 60's today) talk yesterday and he was telling me a story about a guy telling a story about a shepherd. He said this shepherd (why don't we pronounce this she f erd?) had a bunch of sheep, one of them got lost. What do you think he did? I'll give you hint, he didn't erect a sign and say "Hey stupid soon to be Lamb Chops come here or call this number"

I'm just saying.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Most of you won't get this, those that do will.

Did the inventor of the Gearwrench earn a Noble Peace Prize? Everytime I work on my car (took off 25mm sway bar off of street car to put on race car that has 21mm) I marvel at the usefulness of my Gearwrenches. I can do with out my ipod or windows 1 thru 7, Vista, and whatever the current upgrade I am supposed to buy now but I don't think I can do with out my Gearwrenches.

I am thinking about buying another set to hang in my office as artwork.

I could write poetry about my Gear Wrenches.

A Gearwrench by any other name is still a gearwrench.

It is better to have a gearwrench and lost it than to have never had a gearwrench at all.

Ah, gearwrench is thy name.

And yes I have had an entire pot of coffee this morning.

www.gearwrench.com